Showing posts with label Home Management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Home Management. Show all posts

September 11, 2009

Home Management 101 – Part 1

home management

Read the Managers of Our Homes series to learn more.

As I created my Household Notebook, it opened my eyes to how I had been allowing some things to slip through my fingers because I either wasn’t paying attention to them, or hadn’t thought of them in the first place. Another thing I learned was that that are many facets to running a home, and my diamond needed some polishing—ASAP.

So my HN became my guidebook, my command center of operations. And it has truly helped me in many ways. The most important aspect of it, I think, is that it keeps everything in one place. All my budgets, financial planning worksheets, Bible studies, school schedules, etc. are all in my notebook. When I started adding personal items to it, like a project idea sheet, I realized this notebook is much more important than I’d originally realized. As I keep my notebook updated and organized, I can think much more clearly, and best of all, everything I need is at my fingertips. All I have to do is open my notebook and flip open the section I need.

Bible-based concepts on Home Management for women

My Household Notebook play a huge role in my home management. But there are other things I’m learning along the way as well about being a good manager of my home. My findings are scripturally-based, and I continue to seek and study the Word to refine my home management skills. So here are some of those lessons:

Home Manager: A wise woman, who oversees the physical, spiritual, emotional, and financial needs of her family.

1. A home manager is trustworthy and charitable.

*Proverbs 31:11-12: “Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.”

We woman are the core of our homes. Honesty and trustworthiness begins with us. As the manager of my home, if I am dishonest with my husband or children, it erodes not only our personal bonds, but my family unit as well. My husband must know in his heart that he can trust me in any situation or circumstance. He should never have reason to doubt me, and above all, I should never give him reason to regret trusting me. Once trust is broken, it is very hard to earn back.

Verse 12 is one that I think many women have a problem with. What’s the first thing you tend to do when you’re mad at your husband? If you’re human, you probably want to lash out at him. You might even have a streak of spitefulness in you and try to figure out how you can even the score with him. If you want to be a good Home Manager, you have to stop this. You have to learn to be giving and have an open heart.

This was one of the main things that made me fall in love with my husband—he has a huge heart. There were times when I couldn’t understand how he could forgive and forget so easily when someone did him wrong, then turn around and help them in the next instant when they needed help. I model myself after him (although I do struggle with this at times). I want to be like that: compassionate, bighearted, generous in all I say and do.

2. A home manager is thrifty and frugal when necessary.

*Proverbs 31:13-14: “She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.”

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t fallen on hard times at some point in their life. Unfortunately, if you don’t learn how to be frugal before this happens, you’ll be forced to learn it then. This isn’t to say that you have to be cheap, but I think sometimes we waste a lot of money—and time—on things that aren’t necessary, or aren’t good for us.

The best thing about being frugal with your money is that you learn how to get around price tags and become more creative and adventurous. You learn to think outside the box, instead of just grabbing something off the shelf and doling out too much money to pay for it, or worse yet, charging it to a high-interest credit card when you know you can’t afford it in the first place. Believe me, I’m not preaching about something I don’t know anything about. Been there, done that, have the scars to prove it. (Maybe one day I’ll share more about this, too.) So I know what I’m talking about when I say that although you might get that temporary high from doing what everyone else is doing, you will come crashing down.

One thing that really disturbs me is watching women chase after elaborate, expensive things in an effort to keep up with others, or make others believe they have more money than they truly do. (Look back at #1. This principle applies to everyone in your life, not just your husband/family.) Be real. Be you. When you create an imaginary life built on dishonesty, you will eventually become so twisted and entangled in the deceit that you will become empty, unhappy, and broken inside.

For me, thriftiness and frugal living doesn’t only apply to money matters. It applies to my time as well. It took many years for me to finally learn this. My time is just as, if not more than, important than my finances. When I allow my time to be eroded away by listening to people gripe or gossip, or when I’m surrounded by negative people all the time, this rubs off on my spirit. I can have the most positive attitude ever, but if I constantly give my time to negative people, chances are, that pessimistic attitude is going to end up rubbing off on me. And because I’m the manager of my home, guess who that bad attitude will become present in next? You guessed it….my family. So I have become much more aware of this and work diligently towards guarding my time against such socialization.

3. A home manager attends to her families needs and has good time management skills.

*Proverbs 31:15: “She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.”

Proverbs 31:21: “She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.”

I can hear what some of you are thinking right now: ‘But I hate cooking! And up before dawn?! Are you crazy??’

home managementI’m not going to sit here and tell you that you need to get up early every morning and cook a full breakfast for your family. If you enjoy doing that, great! The point I do want to make here is that as a Home Manager, it is our responsibility to make sure our family has what they need. Make sure your children have breakfast, whether it’s a bowl of cereal or scrambled eggs and biscuits. See to it they have lunch money for school, or that their socks are still in good shape. My family is a reflection of me, so I want to be sure they have what they need to be successful and confident each day.

Most of all, I have been entrusted with 24 hours a day. At least 10 of those hours are for sleeping, for the kids (not quite so much for me). That leaves 14 hours for them. They are at school 7 1/2 hours a day during the week. That gives us about 6-6.5 hours together per day, excluding weekends. If I am not wise in time management, those few precious hours can be easily squandered away.

That concept aside, if I don’t organize my time each day, there is a much greater chance that I will end up wasting a lot of time on something pointless. In addition, there are always appointments to be kept, places we need to go, and things that must be done on a certain day, at a specific time. If I am late for everything because I forgot about it, this is not a positive reflection on me or my family. Instead, this tells others that I don’t value my time, thus I don’t value theirs, either.

4. A home manager saves money, is a sage investor, and uses her profits wisely.

*Proverbs 31:16: “She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.”

I am not the smartest when it comes to investing money in the stock market. I don’t know anything about savings bonds. But I can always learn. I think this is something that trips some women and I’m hoping to encourage us all to do something about it. I’ve always very much been a DIY kind of person. If I want to do something, I figure out how to do it. I might study and read up on it for months, or maybe even a few years, but I’ll figure out a way to get that thing done. I think we should take the same approach with our money. If you, like me, aren’t wise in the world of investing, let’s learn about it so we can discover ways to make our money work for us.

Otherwise, I might not know much about that, but I do know how to save money. Even if you don’t understanding big bank investing, anyone can go to a bank with $100 and open a savings account. Even though it won’t yield much in return, you will be saving money. Another good idea is a Christmas club account. Lots of banks offer this way to save any amount of money throughout the year, then empty your account at the end of the year and send you a check. No worries about how you’re going to buy presents!

Likewise, as Home Managers, we have an important duty of thinking things through before we spend money on anything. Think of the field in this scripture as a metaphor. Before you drop a lot of money on a new wardrobe, ask yourself if you really need it? Or do you want new clothes because you’re trying to maintain appearances among others? When you look at the price tag on that pretty dress, do you think about how much this will set you back on your budget, then wait a couple of weeks to see if it will go on sale, or do you spend money out of your grocery budget because you “just have to have it”?

5. A home manager isn’t afraid of hard work and recognizes its importance.

*Proverbs 31:17-19: “First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.”

As managers of our homes, we have to understand the importance of hard work. Whether you are at home, like me, or work outside the home, this applies to all of us. If we greet the day with woe and laziness, our time will be squandered away. At the very least, our bad attitude about what we “have” to do will be noticeable to everyone we come in contact with.

In addition, we home managers must not quit until our work is done. We have to come to an understanding that what we do is important. Whether it’s washing dishes, or running a multi-million dollar business, we all hold great and important work. My family depends on me to fulfill my duties. When I don’t, everyone is affected, not just me.

6. A home manager displays a kind, helping spirit.

*Proverbs 31:20: “She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.”

This is, I think, a very important lesson to learn, because I believe when we can grab hold of it, we will open up a whole new world of blessings. I know a woman who gives and can never say no to people who ask for help, but she doesn’t want to do any of it. She gives, but in her heart, holds one fist clenched. Even though she gives, she doesn’t have a giving heart.

This is an important lesson we can teach our children, through our examples of giving with a loving heart. Deuteronomy 15:10-11 (The Message) points this out clearly, “Give freely and spontaneously. Don’t have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters like this triggers God, your God’s blessing in everything you do, all your work and ventures. There are always going to be poor and needy people among you. So I command you: Always be generous, open purse and hands, give to your neighbors in trouble, your poor and hurting neighbors.”

In addition to giving financially, such as in offerings and special pledges, I believe it is important to give of our time as well. Dedicating special time for prayer and meditation, lending a volunteer hand, or pitching in where you know help is needed and not asking for anything in return are just a few ways of doing so.

More lessons to learn

These six things provide a great starting point for learning how to be good managers of our homes. There are many more lessons to learn from this passage of scripture and as I study them through, I’ll share more of what I’m learning with you.

I hope this series is blessing you as much as it is me!

*The Message version.

Managers of our Homes – The Series

If you missed any of this 3-part series I’ve been writing, about managing our homes, here are the links to all three parts:

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

September 10, 2009

Managers of our Homes – Part 3

How to Become a Mom, CEO (aka. Home Manager)

home manager Now that we’ve laid a foundation for this series, I am going to discuss some things I’ve personally begun doing in my own home. I’ll probably also share ideas of ways I plan to continue building on this. I’m not saying I have the answers to all this; I’m learning as I go. One thing I know for sure, since I started embracing the role of Mom, CEO of my home, it has definitely changed a lot of things for me. So let’s get started…

First, I’ll share a little background about myself, in case you don’t personally know me. I’ve been mostly at home for the last 10+ years. I’ve taken the occasional part-time job to help out with finances a few times as needed, but for the most part, I’ve been fortunate enough to have been at home to raise our children. I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t always used this time wisely. But I am learning more and more that each day is a gift from God, and every second of the 24 hours He gives me each day is a blessing I can’t afford to mess around with. So I am striving to become a better time manager, in addition to other things.

Second, this concept of being a Home Manager is nothing new. There are books out there you can pick up and read, which would probably provide you a lot more in-depth information and research than what I’m giving you. I am simply sharing from my heart about a transformation I’m undergoing, in hopes that some of you might share your own as well, if you’ve experienced the same thing. I am a firm believer that we can all learn something from each other. And women should especially be more open to sharing and learning from one another. I love this portion of scripture from Titus 2:3-5, of the Amplified version:

“Bid the older women similarly to be reverent and devout in their deportment as becomes those engaged in sacred service, not slanderers or slaves to drink. They are to give good counsel and be teachers of what is right and noble, So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children, To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited).”

The Household Notebook

I think the beginning of my understanding started taking shape earlier this year when I decided to make myself a Household Notebook. After Rob left, I sat down with all our bills and immediately became frustrated, scared, and nervous when I saw just how much debt we were under. You don’t really realize the amount of debt you have if you don’t make a list and add it all up. Paying $50 here, $225 there doesn’t really make you see how much debt you have. Tallying a total, though, might be mind-boggling if you’ve never done it.

As I sat there with all our bills, I decided then and there that I could either ignore the problem, or I could do something about it. And I knew that with Rob being gone for about a year could either be a turning point for us, or make no effect at all (because our income would increase just a bit). It was then that I purposed in my heart to buckle down, make a plan, and stick to the plan to see some positive changes and results before Rob came back home from Iraq.

It was right then that I realized I could either play around (with my time and money), or I could get serious about our situation (not that it was bad, but I want better for us) and change the course of our path. I have dreams and goals for our family, and I knew that if things didn’t change for us, all those dreams and goals would sprout wings and fly away.

With Robert gone, and the sole responsibility of running and maintaining our household falling totally on my shoulders, I grasped right then and there the importance of me stepping up and taking charge. It was a mental shift, more than anything, when it became clear to me that I am truly the manager of my home. If the water bill goes unpaid and they shut off the water, it’s nobody’s fault but mine. I can’t make excuses and lay blame because I am solely responsible for what happens in our family right now.

And this is the mindset I think I should have had many years ago, but now that I understood it, it suddenly made me feel a lot more important….to my husband, to my children, to our family, but most of all, to myself. If I am managing our home and things go awry that are within reason of my doing something about them, it’s my fault. This was a huge dose of the reality of responsibility I needed. Thus, the birth of my Household Notebook.

As I started building my HN, I felt a surge of excitement and hope course through me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Yes, it was scary listing all our debt and adding up the total. But by facing the scariness of this and doing it anyway, I totally knocked out all fear and felt courage rise within myself, and confidence that we can do whatever it takes to make our family successful.

Here’s the secret: No matter how much you avoid something, it’s still there. It will remain there, like an ugly monster growing bigger every day. Work up your courage to face it, deal with it, meet it head-on.

The fear of the unknown is always worse than knowing what you are dealing with. So if you’ve been struggling in your finances, and you don’t really know what your total debt is, that might be one clue as to why you are still struggling. This is such a simple concept, but one that I ignored and avoided at all costs for a really long time. I didn’t want to know what our total debt was. It was too scary. We struggled to make ends meet for many years. Looking back now, I see that we were flopping in the wind, with no plan at all. That’s why we never got anywhere.

Here’s another secret tip: No plan, no destination.

If you’re going on a road trip to some place you’ve never been to before, are you going to load up your family, get in the car, and just start driving, hoping you’ll get where you want to go? Of course not! You’re going to plan the entire trip with maps, marking rest stops, the best dining areas, and fun pit stops along the way. You’ll probably even figure out more than one possible route, to find the quickest or shortest distance. You’ll plan even further for your trip by stocking up on snacks and drinks, if it’s a long trip, and deciding where the half-way point is to stop and rest overnight. If you’d take such great measures to plan a road trip, why not create a life plan?

So the household notebook is one step in becoming a good Home Manager. You can click here to read more about how I created mine. If you have a Household Notebook, or something similar, leave a comment and share what your system is like.

Managers of our Homes– Part 2

Laying the Foundation

home managementTo become a manager, or land a supervisory position in the “real” working world, there are certain measures you must take. Unless you are super special, you won’t land a managerial position until you have knowledge and experience in that field. You have to have a proven track record that shows you can actually follow through and do what your resume says you can do for that company.

Becoming a manager of your home works much the same way. You might not understand or know everything necessary to running your home. But you can learn and grow daily and grow more confident in being a home manager.

Just like building a house, you have to begin laying a solid foundation as you embrace this new role as the manager of your home. A good foundation is always grounded in prayer and studying God’s Word. Through these, we can seek and find direction from God and gain wisdom, knowledge and understanding for things beyond our grasp of reasoning or experience.

Adding Walls and a Roof

The more we study and learn and grow, the more depth we can add to what we’re already doing. Maybe you think you’ve done a pretty good job so far without God’s help. While that might be true, why not just give God a try? Job 28:28 (KJV) states, “…the fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.” Why not ask Him for help, and see how much better you can do with His help?

Knowledge without wisdom won’t get you very far. Proverbs 4:6 (NIV) says, “Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.” I learned a long time ago that I don’t have all the answers I’ll ever need in life. Just when I think I’ve figured out something, I learn very quick that I didn’t know as much as I thought I did. But when I turn to God and ask him to open my eyes, heart, and mind, He never fails to guide and instruct me.

Fixing a Cracked Foundation

Maybe you feel like you started with a solid foundation, but have veered off the path and you aren’t sure anymore if you’re even worthy of God offering you help. If I don’t impart any other word of wisdom to you through this series, listen up and take note of this one thing: None of us are perfect. I fall and fall and fall again. I used to beat myself up while I was down, but God doesn’t expect or want that kind of behavior from us. So if you’re feeling this way, let me assure you, God will always provide correction for any problem you might have. So forget about perfection and mistakes. Ask for forgiveness, be covered afresh with His blood, then get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.

Managers of our Homes – Part 1

Introduction

home manager I was originally going to direct this thought towards stay-at-home-moms/women, but then I decided this isn’t only relevant to at-home women, but to all of us women. We’ve all read and studied the Proverbs 31 woman, and I’ll be the first to admit that so many of us have discussed it that sometimes it seems a tad redundant. But if we seek to be more like Christ and follow His teachings and the Word, nothing therein should ever become redundant to us. So I’m going to dive back into this portion of scripture again and share something that has been on my heart for a few weeks now.

Embrace a different frame of mind

I think one reason why some women don’t agree with the Proverbs 31 woman is because it’s easier to just live your life the way you want to. And for some, the Proverbs 31 woman seems to be a woman of the “old days”…and we’ve moved beyond that, right? Wrong.

We may not have to gather wheat in the fields anymore, or sew or own clothes by hand with a thread and needle, but the basic principles still remain the same. The only way we can come to understand this better is to change the way we think. As women, we have a huge responsibility, especially when there are children involved. Yes, the man is biblically the head of our household, but as women, we have a huge and intricate part of our household as well.

I guess after going through one deployment and living alone for the first time in years, for a year-and-a-half, and now going through a second deployment, has really opened my eyes to things that I think a lot of [married] women take for granted. Even though I’d always been an independent person, after marrying my husband, and then eventually becoming a stay-at-home-mom/wife, I came to depend totally on him for everything. I was no longer working and earning my own portion of the household income. I had to learn to look to my husband to provide for the needs of our family.

Through both of these deployments, I’ve been forced to learn how to rely on myself to do a lot of things again without any help: mowing the lawn, taking out the trash on garbage day, maintenance on both vehicles, paying the bills each month, etc. And I have come to realize that even when my husband is at home, I still have big responsibilities as a wife, mother, and woman. Some of the load and burden will shift when there are two of us to carry it, but there are basic responsibilities there that I can’t ignore. One of them, I have come to learn, is being the manager of my home.

Before you can become a manager of your home, you truly have to first embrace a totally different perspective—of yourself and your place in your home. Until this happens, reading the rest of this probably either won’t make much sense to you, or you might find it silly and nonsense.

September 09, 2009

Clutter Dump

This morning I stumbled across this blog post, where the writer started a 10 Things Challenge, in an effort to get rid of ten things per week. I really like this idea. I’ve been ignoring an urge to dig through closets and boxes and do a huge clutter dump from my house. Reading that blog post sparked the courage in me to get started this week.

I’ve been ignoring and procrastinating this because (a) I still have TONS of boxes shoved in every closet and free space in this house since our move in May and (b) I hate this kind of cleaning. I tend to make emotional attachments to non-essential items, thus making it very hard to get rid of anything. But the clutter is driving me crazy.

So I think I’ll follow suit of this blogger and start this week. I’m going to go on a search today and find 10 things to dump. That should be easy enough. Will update with a picture of my ten things when I’m ready.

April 07, 2009

Making a Household Notebook

Over the last couple of days, I did a lot of researching and printing. I have learned quite a bit along the way about creating a Household Notebook. (By the way, there is lots of advice online about doing this. Just Google "Household Notebook" and you'll get a ton of links to blogs and websites on this topic.) I decided to begin by creating these sections (not necessarily in this order in my notebook):

  1. Finances (see below for more details on this section)
  2. Home Management
    1. Schedules
    2. Cleaning charts
    3. Planners
    4. Positive reinforcement ideas for kids
    5. Loaned/Borrowed
    6. To Do lists
    7. Year at a Glance
  3. Recipes (I'm only giving this its own section to make it quick & easy for me to find.)
  4. Homeschooling
    1. Grade chart
    2. Extra worksheets
    3. Ideas, notes
  5. School (mine--I'm in college right now)
    1. Schedules
    2. Important information
  6. Projects
    1. Crafts
    2. Ideas for projects I'd like to work on
    3. WIPs I need to finish
  7. Writing
    1. Blogs
    2. Articles
    3. Ideas
  8. Personal
    1. Inspiring quotes, scriptures
    2. Prayer requests
    3. Devotionals
    4. Answered prayers

FINANCES

I started with financial worksheets because this is my main focus right now. The worksheets in my notebook right now include:

  • Debt Release Plan (based on Dave Ramsey's Snowball Method) - Lists all our debts, from smallest to largest, in compliance with the snowball method. I plan on updating it with new sheets as I pay off each debt. (This worksheet alone motivated me. I was very apprehensive about sitting down and completing it. But the fear of the unknown is always worse than the truth. Once I finally finished filling out this worksheet, I was very excited and hopeful.)
  • Monthly Budget (Pear Budget is a nice alternative, if you'd rather do it online instead of on paper. They offer a free trial and the monthly expense for using their program is extremely affordable. If you are barely squeaking by, though, do your monthly budget on paper for now. I also recommend Simple Mom's Zero-Based Budgets for the Home: A Primer)
  • Savings worksheet - This worksheet is for specific things we would like to purchase. First the goal is listed, followed by the target amount needed to purchase it. Then I can set a dated goal of when I want to purchase the item, which in turn leads to a monthly savings goal. If we're serious about the purchase, this monthly savings goal goes into its own savings envelope for future purchase.
  • Rainy Day Fund - This is just a simple worksheet to keep track of our RDF. Our beginning balance goes at the top of the page, followed by dated entries of debits or credits, with a running tally. It operates very much like a checkbook register. Simple and easy.
  • Vacation Fund - This works the same as above. We have a family goal right now to go on a vacation to Disney next year once Robert's deployment is finished. I've broken down the dollar amount needed for this trip to create a monthly savings plan. This worksheet helps us keep a running total on how much we have saved towards our vacation. (More to come on this later.)
  • Entertainment Fund - This one is specifically to track our "extra" spending because I know this is where we are sinking way too much money that could be used to pay down our debt. This one will be used with the envelope system, too. If we can get this category under control, I believe it will be a huge factor in accelerating our debt-free plan.