August 03, 2009

Personal Themes

After reading about my friend setting a yearly theme for herself, I pondered on that idea for quite some time. I read the article she referred to, but it still needed time to sink in. This morning I realized that even though I didn’t consciously set a yearly theme for myself for 2009, I’ve actually had one (or more) all along.

Make new friends.

This is something I’ve struggled with for several years now. It has never been easy for me to make new friends. I tend to be overly cautious and wary of opening up to new people. This year, though, I have made some new friends that I hope to build lifelong relationships with.

No more outside influences.

For almost my entire life, I felt like I lived for everyone else. I did what was expected (or what I thought others expected from me). I wouldn’t make waves because I didn’t want to be labeled as rebellious or rude. In fact, until just over three years ago, I had become so miserable with living my life according to others that I didn’t even have the desire to live another day.

In the last 6-12 months my eyes have been opened to a lot of things. I’m not living my life for anyone else but me. And if others don’t like it, well, then…I’ve learned that is their problem, not mine.

Become empowered through education.

This is the one thing I am most proud of. For just over a year now, I have been in college, working on that once-elusive degree. I’m almost half-way to earning my bachelor’s degree and I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. When I finally decided to do this, once and for all, it was like I dug my heels into the ground and nothing can stop me now.

What’s to come

I don’t know what the next 6-12 months has in store for me. Maybe I will sit down and set a personal theme for myself, now that I can see how far I’ve recently come. Either way, I know that my life is evolving and I am slowly becoming more of what I hope to be, instead of fretting over others’ expectations. It feels great!