February 15, 2009

It makes my world go 'round

When I got up this morning, I found a note from my husband on my laptop. (Smart fella, figuring out the right spot to leave me a note. *wink*) I couldn’t help but smile as I read it. He apologized twice for not having a card to give me (yesterday). I couldn’t care less about not getting a card. The idea that he took the time to sit down and write me a note before he left for work this morning gave me a much bigger thrill than if he had left me a pretty card.

A love note from my Sweetie Pie…it’s what makes my world go ‘round.

February 14, 2009

Thank God for You

I thank my God every time I remember you.
    -- Philippians 1:3

I know today is a day for sweethearts. It’s a special day to remember to tell your sweetie how much you love him/her. But this morning, my heart is in a different place. Today I’m thinking about someone very special to me that isn’t on this earth anymore. So I just want to take a few moments to remember her.

Cindy Martin was a very special woman. Her daughter, Sarah, and I quickly became best friends when I moved to Tennessee in 1994. In Sarah, I found a kindred spirit, something I’d never experienced before. As our friendship blossomed, I also began to get to know her parents and family better, too.

Cindy was a no-nonsense kind of person. She didn’t mind telling me when she thought I did wrong. That was something I appreciated about her. She kind of took me under her wing, mothering me when I was motherless. She gave me advice about life and dating and marriage and having babies.

The year my daughter was born, 1999, cancer claimed Cindy’s life. She fought it tooth and nail to the very end. I’ve never seen someone so strong, in such a weak condition. Even though she knew the cancer was taking its toll, her spirit never broke. She was strong in her faith in God. She knew where she was going when she was finally done with this mortal ground.

The morning I got the phone call, I was on my way to get groceries. (Thank God for cell phones!) I immediately turned around and ran back home so I could change and go be with Sarah. It was a sad, yet happy day and I didn’t want Sarah to be alone through it all.

Thinking back, I’m a little sad that I never told Cindy how much she meant to me. I wish I had taken the time to express my feelings toward her. In so many ways, she became the mother I never had. She was my spiritual mother as well. I wonder if she even knows the impact she had on my life, or how much I appreciated her.

This morning I want to remind you…

If you love someone, tell them. Don’t wait. We have no promise of tomorrow. We are only given this very moment in time. Use it wisely.

I thank my God every time I think of you, Cindy Martin. I hope you are dancing on the hills of glory with Sis. Shirley, waiting for me and Sarah to join you!

February 06, 2009

Figuring it out as I go

I’ve been MIA for a while now because there’s been much going on in my life. The kids and I moved back to Louisiana after a month. Mississippi was great—Emily’s school was wonderful—but it just wasn’t home. We were all sad and homesick, and after suffering through a few weeks, I finally made an executive decision to come back home.

Right now we’re coming off a week-long sickness. First I got sick, then both kids, and finally Robert. We’re all feeling better now but I am left with quite a hangover. I can’t seem to string together a cohesive thought and I’m doing good just to get my school work done. The house is a mess, as we await new carpet for the kids’ rooms.

I’ve been questioning a lot that I do over the last few weeks. Am I living up to my full potential? Am I chasing fantasy dreams that are meaningless? Do I provide my family enough of me? Who am I? What am I doing? Where am I going?

The best answer I have, even for myself right now, is that I’m simply figuring it out as I go along. So much has happened since Christmas, and much more is happening right now. I’m trying really hard to remind myself that time is short and I should just live in the moment and take things as they come.