June 23, 2005

People Pleasers

Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them.
-- Matthew 7:12 (The Message)

This scripture grabbed me when I read it. I was a people pleaser. I always had been. I believe it stemmed from childhood. Nevertheless, being a people pleaser is tiring and a never-ending job.

Every waking thought has always been about others, not myself. Worry has always been prevalent in my mind. Fretting over what someone will think if I do this. Worrying about what others will say about me if I do that. Constant worry, worry, worry.

The realization hit me recently that others do not live this way. Well, only people pleasers do.

People pleasers (hereto referred to as PP) are easily taken advantage of. Others can sense that a PP lives and feeds on the need to take care of others. It might not be intentional, but it does happen. A PP ends up feeling used and abused, which is exactly what is happening.

One of my biggest peeves is a "user" that makes the PP feel as though they (the PP) are doing that person a favor. I have seen that happen many times.

One PP I know told me once that she felt all used up. She told me that she knew she was being used because the people that were using her knew she would not say "no" to doing the dirty work. It's a crying shame that a person would go to that extreme of using another human being. This eventually led to the PP moving entirely to another state.

I guess with all my rambling what I mean to say is that we should do for others what we would like for them to do for us. If you know a People Pleaser, why don't you go out of your way today to do something extra special just for them. Help a PP to refill her/his well.