February 06, 2009

Figuring it out as I go

I’ve been MIA for a while now because there’s been much going on in my life. The kids and I moved back to Louisiana after a month. Mississippi was great—Emily’s school was wonderful—but it just wasn’t home. We were all sad and homesick, and after suffering through a few weeks, I finally made an executive decision to come back home.

Right now we’re coming off a week-long sickness. First I got sick, then both kids, and finally Robert. We’re all feeling better now but I am left with quite a hangover. I can’t seem to string together a cohesive thought and I’m doing good just to get my school work done. The house is a mess, as we await new carpet for the kids’ rooms.

I’ve been questioning a lot that I do over the last few weeks. Am I living up to my full potential? Am I chasing fantasy dreams that are meaningless? Do I provide my family enough of me? Who am I? What am I doing? Where am I going?

The best answer I have, even for myself right now, is that I’m simply figuring it out as I go along. So much has happened since Christmas, and much more is happening right now. I’m trying really hard to remind myself that time is short and I should just live in the moment and take things as they come.