March 26, 2004

Excuses, revisited


Last month I blogged on Cup of Hope about excuses. I found myself back at that post this morning.

I have been in a big writing slump this month. Sure I blog, but other than that, I haven't written much. I've been too embarassed to admit it here. I don't know why. I'm not perfect, nobody is. So I don't know why I've let this bother me so much.

I told a writer friend yesterday that I fell ashamed. Why? Because this year I officially "came out of my writing closet" and publicly proclaimed myself a writer. And for the last few weeks, I haven't written!!

While watching Starting Over this morning, I suddenly realized that I am very much like one of the women (whom I dislike and loathe greatly). This was quite a rude awakening!

I make excuses. I know what I want to do, but I make loads of excuses NOT to do it. In the end, I'm left frustrated, disappointed, disillusioned, and more. That is where I found myself this week. Wondering where I am, and what in the world am I doing worthwhile.

So today I will start fresh. Yes, this is Friday, the end of the week. But this is a fresh start for me. I have to pull myself up, because nobody else will. Nobody is able to make me become what I want to be. I am the one who will make me me.