February 11, 2004

Does "NO" still mean no?

  Just the other day, a friend and I discussed how as women we find it difficult to say, "No!" I guess you could say we still have some work to do on our "Superwoman Syndrome."

  Yesterday I had the opportunity to practice saying the "n" word. But the lady wouldn't listen to me! Since when does "no" mean maybe? Here's the conversation that took place.

ME: "Hello?"

DISH LADY: "Hi! This is So-And-So from Dish Network. We're contacting our Valued Customers and doing telephone surveys to see what types of movies your family enjoys." (I should have known better than to think they only wanted to "survey" me.)

ME: "We like various types of movies, mostly comedy though."

DL: "Great! That's tuh-rific! And you like those because they bring laughter into your lives and make you smile, right?!" (NAW!! We like comedies because they make us cry!)

ME: "Uh-huh."

DL: "Tuh-rific! That's so great! Because in today's time we all need a smile on our face. That's tuh-rific."

--We don't have a cordless phone anymore, so we've been using a regular phone, which sits on my desk, not in the living room next to the recliner. So picture this: I'm standing in front of my desk, holding the baby in my right arm, a bottle with my left hand, and cradling the phone between my left shoulder and ear. My left jaw bone is beginning to feel like it's going to crack at any given moment. At this point, the "nice" lady totally takes over the conversation. She starts talking so fast that her words bump into each other.--

DL: "So today, because we know you love comedy movies so much, and because you're a Valued Customer, we want to offer you a special package. That's right. We are only offering these specially priced packages to our most Valued Customers. We will supply you with unlimited comedies, which we know you will love. And you'll receive only the movie channels which play comedies. That's right! Non-stop comedies for you and your family."

No, she didn't stop there. I just needed to interject this thought. :) So now I'm thinking to myself, 'Okay, Hope. Stop thinking about your cracking jaw; plastic surgery can fix that. This lady is fixing to give you a FREE movie package deal! So quit whining, and make NICE-NICE with the lady!' RIGHT!

DL (continued):Because you're a Valued Customer, we would like to "give" you this special package of Showtime Unlimited. That's right! This great package deal will include ten channels of non-stop comedy movie action! Doesn't that sound tuh-rific?!"

Uh-oh. I smelled something stinky. (Not a poopy diaper, either!)

ME: "Sure!

DL: "Tuh-rific! And as our Valued Customer you can receive this wonderful movie package deal for THE LOW PRICE OF $11.99 a month!...Not only that..."

ME: "Excuse me. No thank you. We don't really need that. Thanks anyway."

DL: (After a five-second pause) "Well, Mrs. Wilbanks, this is a special offer for today only, going only to our Valued Customers. You won't find this special deal ANYWHERE ELSE!

ME: CLICK. BUZZ......................

Give me a break! That deal was so special that I could go online and add the package to our bill for the same amount. What is wrong with these people? I wasn't trying to be mean or ugly, but the last time I checked, NO meant NO! :)