February 01, 2004

Waking up & Yesterday's Chat

  I just finished my first cup of coffee for the morning. While sipping my morning brew, I usually catch up on emails and allow myself to wake up before writing.

  I keep a seperate folder in my mailbox for quotes, inspirationals, and devotionals. This morning I decided to clear out some mail clutter, and stumbled upon something that just provided a confirmation to a chat I had yesterday with my Support Buddy, Angela.

  We had a serious discussion about fear and things that hold us back. My eyes were opened to some things that I was repressing. I knew deep down that these were "motivating fears" in my life, but had never "acknowledged" them as such.

  We also discussed reasons why I have not submitted any of my work for publication to paying venues. So this morning I open my "special" folder, am surfing through old messages, and find this: "When you value yourself, you will value your time."

  Hello! That has been my problem. I did not value myself or my time, therefore, have not placed any value on my writing. I told Angela yesterday that I honestly have never felt that my writing was good enough to send to anyone to even try to be published. That's why I've kept it a "secret" for so long. I'm not ashamed or embarassed of it, I just never valued it.

  So my ultimate goal this week is to change my mindset. I will change the way I perceive myself and my writing. I will find a deeper appreciation for what God has placed in my life. I will learn to cultivate it, water it, and fertilize it. In the end I desire to look around and see a bounty of harvest in the garden of my life. I know that it can only happen when I embrace my talents, and treasure and esteem this passion.