December 17, 2005

I Believe in Me

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."
- Earl Nightengale

I was looking for a quote on believing, but when I ran across this one, I decided it would be perfect for my thought today.

With everything that was going on in our family at the end of 2005, I placed writing on the back burner and mostly wrote as a hobby. There was just way too much added to me this year for me to even concentrate on writing.

I've been doing lots of work over the last couple of weeks, in preparation for the new year. I am ready to get back on track. But what track would that be? 2004 was basically my first "official" year as a writer. I created my yearly plan, divided that up into twelve months of work, then broke that down into weekly and daily goals. Every morning I began my day by creating my daily goal list, and I accomplished a lot by following those simple steps.

By the beginning of this month, I felt pretty lost and hopeless. I felt like I didn't have any direction and as hard as I tried, I couldn't seem to get any goals down on paper for 2006. I grew frustrated and wanted to just quit altogether. But I pushed through to the other side.

I realized that I was trying to make it way harder than it has to be. I was so focused on minute details that I couldn't see the big picture. My internal camera's zoom lens was broken!

I've mentioned my creative group of friends here before. We've been burning up the email lines for a few weeks now. It's as if the end of this year is propelling all four of us into fantastic worlds unknown and unexplored. It's exciting--and scary.

For the first time, I am beginning to feel more confidence in my abilities and talents. I am feeling more sure of myself. I'm beginning to (literally and figuratively) stand tall and proud. I am squaring my shoulders, removing the slouch and slump of my neck and shoulders. I am breathing deep, and blowing away doubt, confusion, and fear. Instead of stuffing the questions I want to ask, I'm asking anyway, putting myself on the line regardless of whether the questions seem "stupid" or not.

For the first time, I believe in me. I believe I can do this. I believe I can do anything. Oh yes, it's going to be a bit frightening at times, and there will be times when I am unsure of myself. But that's the fun of it all, isn't it? Not knowing the end result, yet being brave enough to step my foot out on the water and believe.