December 12, 2005

JUST DO IT

Yesterday was an extremely stressful day, to say the least. It actually started out pretty good, but things went downhill quick. I walked out of church crying at the end of the night. The stress and pressure snowballed all at once, overwhelming me, until it burst from within and came out in the form of deep, heavy sobs.

Sometimes that's all you need--a good cry. It's cleansing. It sort of washes away all the ickiness that's inside, and empties you out to make room for something good.

When we got home, I put the kids to bed and sat down, intending to not do anything but sit there and wallow. Instead, I grabbed my trusty journal. 'I need to get all this out, once and for all,' I thought. And that's just what I did.

Twenty minutes and several handwritten pages later, I felt much better. In fact, instead of whining on every page, I ended up actually creating a plan of action for myself. See, I have this rule that, when writing in my "writing practice" book (see Writing Down The Bones) I am only allowed one full page for whining and complaining. After that, no matter if I'm done complaining or not, I have to move on.

This morning I woke up feeling alive, rejuvinated. Yesterday is over and gone. Today is a new day. Today I will do what God calls me to do. Today I will not wallow in yesterday's pain, but move forward--because that's what God would want me to do.

I'm alive in Him, because He lives in me!