December 05, 2005

Trusting in the process

I have struggled for weeks to set my goals for 2006. Last week I hit a particular "low" when I really buckled down and attempted to focus myself for an entire day on what I needed and wanted to do with my writing, so that I could compile my list.

Saturday I called my little sister and had a brainstorming session with her. She made some good points and directed my attention to things I'd never considered. I hung up feeling even more frustrated than ever, though. I couldn't understand why in the world it was so difficult for me to just sit down and write out some solid goals.

I've been praying, more than ever before, for God to lead and guide me in this process of goal-setting. I've been studying and seeking His face for direction. And it has felt as though I've been met with silence on the matter.

Yesterday morning I finally got my answer during morning worship service. The first Sunday of each month is Children's Sunday at church. It was one of those Sundays were kids were up and down, people were trotting in and out the whole time. To be honest with you, there was so much going on that it was hard to concentrate on the preacher, so I didn't get much out of the first half of his sermon. But something he said right at the end was like DING! -- a thousand beautiful bells went off and it was like God was saying, "Hello? You listening? I'm talking to YOU right now!"

Pastor was talking about how it's great and wonderful for us to raise our children and teach them the importance of going to college and getting an education and working, BUT--(here's the clincher...) we shouldn't teach them to put more value in working or money, than God.

And how does this tie into writing? Glad you asked. :)

That is exactly what I've been doing--attempting to work writing into a way for me to make money. I've been thinking and planning....meanwhile, placing more value in writing to earn money, than in God to do what He wants to with it, through me.

Make any sense? Well, it makes perfect sense to me anyways. And I think this is also probably why I have not been able to get my goals made out for 2006. I've been looking at the "money" aspect of goal-setting and that's it. I haven't had an even balance.

Then last night we arrived at church a little early and got in on the tail-end of choir practice. I like going early enough to get some of the choir practice. Music has always been a special form of communicating with God for me, so hearing it calms my spirit and helps me to get focused on God before church starts.

So anyway, the song they were practicing is an older song, but I had forgotten all about it. The words were absolutely perfect for me yesterday, and is the perfect prayer that my heart is singing today:
"Order my steps in Your word, dear Lord
Lead me, guide me every day
Send Your annointing, Father I pray
Order my steps in Your word
Please order my steps in Your word."

I don't ever want to get so caught up in my own desires and dreams that I forget to turn to the One who has placed the dream in my heart. I need His direction, His guidance. I need Him to show me what He has planned for my life. I don't want to go off on my own. I want His hand on everything I say and do. Without Him, I simply can't do it.

I'm that now I will be able to transform my thinking and write my goals during the next week or two.

Have you made your goals for 2006 yet?